Болеро

Один мой старый приятель как-то признался – «лучше всего я сочиняю экспромтом на темы, в которых ни черта не понимаю…» Он был с юмором, но не врал. Давно было, я тогда еще не рисовал. Как вспоминаются слова, вроде забытые?.. Нужен намек. Картинка, слово, или звук знакомый… И разом всплывают. Вроде, незначительные слова, события… Но, думаю, важные, иначе зачем бы так — сразу, целиком проступают. Как изображение на фотобумаге. Мы часто с ним печатали фотографии. Напряженное молчание в темноте, красный фонарик в углу, и в ванночке перед нами чернеет, проявляется – картинка. На ней небольшое событие, или дерево, кусочек двора, где он жил… Неважно, что возникает, сам процесс важней. Много фотографировали, проявляли пленку, печатали фотографии… Он вырос, и стал говорить экспромтом на незнакомые темы. Стихи писал. Но недолго прожил, до сорока, его тема прервалась. А я сначала лет двадцать гулял, пробовал темы разные, пока к своим не пришел. Наверное, оттого моя жизнь длинней, на те самые двадцать пять, что нас разделяют. И расстояние все увеличивается… Желание обладать вещами трудно понять, другое дело – время, особая субстанция; жадность ко времени понятна. Получаем не крупными купюрами – мелочью минут и дней. Существуют картинки, сценки, слова, события, лица, способные соединять разорванные нити, сращивать концы. Занятие фотографией, химическое таинство, важным оказалось. Когда начал писать рассказики, тут же вспомнилась темнота и тишина в ванной комнате. Наверное, дом как стоял, так и стоит, а смотреть не хочу. Вход во двор через круглую арку, низкий проход во двор, мощеный плотно вбитыми в землю круглыми камнями… Мама говорила, никто теперь не умеет эти камни вбивать плотно, надежно. А я думал, неужели, это же так просто… А потом вопрос сам решился — перестали камнями улицы мостить, наверное, потому что не осталось мастеров. А может наоборот, все полюбили ровный скучный асфальт, а разные по цвету и форме камни раздражать начали…
Так многие вопросы в жизни решаются, их обходят и забывают. Но это обман, они снова всплывают, только в иной форме, и все равно приходится решать. Уроки не сделаны! Давай, фотки утром посмотрим… Но иногда не успевали посмотреть, опаздывали в школу. Я жил рядом на другой улице, близко, если дворами, то через два забора, в них дыры. Он всегда опаздывал. Мы жили у моря. Прибалтика, ветер никогда теплым не бывает. Я мерз, злился, ждал его… Он все равно появлялся неожиданно, переводил дух, и говорил – «опять я фотографии забыл убрать… мать будет ругаться.» Его часто ругали, он школу не любил. Все умел делать руками, в технике разбирался, быстро соображал, но школу терпеть не мог, был двоечником. А я никогда не думал, люблю — не люблю… знал, что надо, и всё. Наверное, тоже не любил, там слишком громко, толкотня, постоянно приходится говорить и отбиваться… Зато мы играли в фантики. Откуда только брались эти бумажки… От очень дорогих конфет! Но это я сейчас удивляюсь, а тогда мне и в голову не приходило — кто-то ведь ел эти конфеты! После войны!.. Нам с другом матери приносили подушечки, голые конфетки, иногда с блестящими красными и розовыми полосками, иногда обсыпанные коричневым порошком, кофе с сахаром или даже какао. Мы сначала обсасывали конфетки, и только потом жевали. Вернее, он жевал, а я – долго сосал, до-о-лго… Никогда не жевал. Наверное, потому он стал поэтом, а я еле-еле выкарабкался из своих зарослей… и никогда стихов не писал, никогда… А теперь что говорить… старики не пишут их, известное дело.
Мы шли в школу, рядом музыка, почти всегда с нами. Утром по радиоточке классика, играли оркестры. Это сейчас все поют, умеют — не умеют… Мы шли, и с нами была одна мелодия. Почти каждый день. Или теперь так кажется? Неважно, когда что-то интересное рисуешь или пишешь, всегда преувеличиваешь, а как же!.. Я спрашивал у мамы, что это, она говорит – Болеро, был такой композитор Равель. А почему она повторяется, на месте толчется? Мама усмехалась, ну, не совсем на месте, но я не знаю, зачем он это, действительно, написал, одна мелодия сто лет. Не сто, конечно, но всю дорогу продолжалась. Зато я эти дома, заборы, камни на дороге, тротуары, садики, дворики, которые в сумерках еле видны, до сих пор помню. Хотя мы даже не смотрели — думали, редко говорили. Тогда дети были другими… послевоенные дети. А может кажется, никогда не знаешь, как на самом деле. Только слышу – болеро, и мы идем, идем, идем в школу… Болеро как жизнь. Одна и та же тема, а рост, развитие только усложнение оркестровки. И жизнь как Болеро, только в конце неясность ожидает. То ли обрыв на вершине усложнения, то ли снова все просто — кончается как началось…

Автор: DM

Дан Маркович родился 9 октября 1940 года в Таллине. По первой специальности — биохимик, энзимолог. С середины 70-х годов - художник, автор нескольких сот картин, множества рисунков. Около 20 персональных выставок живописи, графики и фотонатюрмортов. Активно работает в Интернете, создатель (в 1997 г.) литературно-художественного альманаха “Перископ” . Писать прозу начал в 80-е годы. Автор четырех сборников коротких рассказов, эссе, миниатюр (“Здравствуй, муха!”, 1991; “Мамзер”, 1994; “Махнуть хвостом!”, 2008; “Кукисы”, 2010), 11 повестей (“ЛЧК”, “Перебежчик”, “Ант”, “Паоло и Рем”, “Остров”, “Жасмин”, “Белый карлик”, “Предчувствие беды”, “Последний дом”, “Следы у моря”, “Немо”), романа “Vis vitalis”, автобиографического исследования “Монолог о пути”. Лауреат нескольких литературных конкурсов, номинант "Русского Букера 2007". Печатался в журналах "Новый мир", “Нева”, “Крещатик”, “Наша улица” и других. ...................................................................................... .......................................................................................................................................... Dan Markovich was born on the 9th of October 1940, in Tallinn. For many years his occupation was research in biochemistry, the enzyme studies. Since the middle of the 1970ies he turned to painting, and by now is the author of several hundreds of paintings, and a great number of drawings. He had about 20 solo exhibitions, displaying his paintings, drawings, and photo still-lifes. He is an active web-user, and in 1997 started his “Literature and Arts Almanac Periscope”. In the 1980ies he began to write. He has four books of short stories, essays and miniature sketches (“Hello, Fly!” 1991; “Mamzer” 1994; “By the Sweep of the Tail!” 2008; “The Cookies Book” 2010), he wrote eleven short novels (“LBC”, “The Turncoat”, “Ant”, “Paolo and Rem”, “White Dwarf”, “The Island”, “Jasmine”, “The Last Home”, “Footprints on the Seashore”, “Nemo”), one novel “Vis Vitalis”, and an autobiographical study “The Monologue”. He won several literary awards. Some of his works were published by literary magazines “Novy Mir”, “Neva”, “Kreshchatyk”, “Our Street”, and others.

Болеро: 120 комментариев

  3. — I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website. I’m hoping the same high-grade site post from you in the upcoming as well. Actually your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own web site now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a good example of it.

  5. من هنوز سرور ایرانی ندیدمانشالله که بیاد پینگ در این سرور های خارجی بالای ۲۰۰ هستشراستی DLC ها رو هم تو سایت میگزاری؟خیلی ممون بابت آموزش

  6. Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is fantastic, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about Alarm over East Lancashire’s teenage abortions rise | The LifeLeague .

  7. #67“IF we enter a true depression, will the banks try to repossess homes en mass like the banks tried to repossess farms in the 30’s?”Congress is already trying (and seems likely to succeed) to bring a huge number of loans onto the gov’ts books. I would think that we will never see mass foreclosures since the gov’t will simply step in and buy up mortgages.

  9. First and foremost thank you guys for what you do. If it is not too rude I’d like to ask I assume you guys are not affiliated with any of these companies you review? Is it possible if you could recommend a product which you believe works best to solely increase height.Thank you very much.

  13. on the alex jones show last night that him and sheriff arpaio will come out with another shocking report in 10 days. THEY DIDN'T LEARN A MOTHERFUCKING THING FROM ANDREW BREITBART'S DEATH. 10 DAYS!!! Andrew breitbart thought he had 10 more days to live. I hope they are not next. I cant stand when a tragedy like this happens and people still refuse to learn or change for the better. What the fuck is wrong with those 2???

  16. There is a difference, is there not, between a person being elected leader of a political party which is in opposition and a person who, upon election, assumes the Premiership of a province? In the former case, I would think that a seat in the relevant house would be desirable but not essential; in the latter, the new Premier definitely should already have a seat. Which means my position is totally opposite Mr Kinsella’s.

  19. As hard as it may be for a member of the bigoted society we live in to understand, for most people children aren’t objects of sexual desire and when we see a naked child we just don’t give a crap. Unless it’s funny. Then we laugh.

  20. omg haii nikki its makenzie here!!!! i cant belive im sayaing this but i need some advice… cuz i saw this cute guy!!! cuter than brandon and i want to tell him how i feel about him but im afraid he will freak out!! yes nikki im kinda like you but dont get TOO excited now hon!! -Makenzie hollister

  21. ahhhh ya estaba esperando q postearasssss. sos increiblemente talentosa, amo lo que haces y me pone muy feliz q exista alguien como vos en el mundoooo. te quieroooooooooo[]Camila Coelho Respondeu:October 12th, 2012 em 1:25 pm, Ohhhh, muchas gracias mi amor. Usted es tan dulce. Me alegro mucho de que te gusta el blog. Besos <3[]

  22. You are so right, and it only my enduring cluelessness–and current preoccupation with other projects–that prevented her inclusion. When I update the list–and I promise I will–she’ll be on it. I’m overdue on my “Rising Stars” post, but there are sooooo many these day–which can only be a good thing. Bottom line, I hope Jimmy Moore’s post next year has a little more diversity!

  27. What a beautiful space! And I have that same desktop theme! 🙂 I really need to do this too. Right now I work at the dining room table — even after the last place we lived where I declared, VOWED, to not work where I eat. Gotta figure something else out.

  30. Hi Mary!My mom used to make a version of this back in the day of meatless Fridays. She would use the coking water of pasta (usually broken up pieces of spaghetti), a can of baby peas and the egg mixed with Parmesan cheese.I think it was made when mom's food budget was stretched thin, but we all loved it.

  35. Lovely to be re-united with BO Plenty. Remember Hair Face? We used to do this, combing our hair over our faces and putting on sunglasses. And then there was Eggy Plates – always a favourite.

  37. Lyde: Ihmisellä pitää olla moninaisia harhoja. 😀 Täällä karsittiin raakasti pois puolet leluista, loppujen lopuksi leikkeihin päätyy aina samat. Jos eivät itsestään edelleenkään päädy paikoilleen, niin onpahan maamolla vähemmän kerättävää. ;)Laurar: Kaksivuotiaiden tussi kädessä tehtyihin lupauksiin ei myöskään voi luottaa! Paperi ei ole koskaan tarpeeksi iso, jos vieressä on vielä isompi ja suorastaan piirtelyä varten tehty valkoinen seinä. 😉

  43. Información Bitacoras.com…Valora en Bitacoras.com: Grandes noticias para los amantes de los gadgets chinos, nuestro mejor proveedor, dispone de almacenes en USA y en UK donde tiene numerosos productos de entre los más vendidos, de modo que si el producto que adquirimos se en……

  49. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to send you an email. I’ve got some creative ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

  52. Get the chickens and hide them from hubster.Get yourself some White Rocks for the eggs (they lay like mad) and then for fun get some araucanas–they lay Easter eggs! And don’t forget a goose or two or three to keep the coyotes and raccoons away. Just in case you’re worried about burglars, get some guinea fowl.Put up a screen and hubster will never know they’re there.

  56. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one these days..

  57. OK…I’ll immediately grab your rss feed as I can\\’t find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me know so that I could subscribe. Thanks….

  58. oui, il a du abuser du pastis frelaté , je ne vois plus que ça et plus on va approcher de la date fatale, plus il va s’énerver et avoir du mal à rédiger ses étrons et attaques contre les fonctionnaires etc..

  59. Cette version de mousse au chocolat devrait beaucoup plaire à mon mari, friand de praliné. Elle doit être onctueuse comme une mousse au chocolat au lait, le petit goût de noisette en plus… Toutes mes félicitations !

  61. Minha ultima menstruação normal foi em 23 de Setembro, fiz uma exame BHCG dia 07 de Novembro, o resultado ficou em torno de 5000, poucos dias depois tive umas dores e sangramento moderado durante uns dias, durou por umas duas semanas, mas era bem fraquinho. Essa semana vi um líquido saindo dos meus seios, hoje 12/12/2012 repeti o exame, e deu 8000, achei estranho, pois se passou um mês e os níveis evoluíram pouco, fiz uma qualitativo e deu positivo. Estou confusa, será que uma ultrassom tiraria minha dúvida?

  62. Dude…Si passé 22 ans t’as pas encore compris ca, c’pas cet article ci qui va t’aider…Faut retourner aux bases là….DE LA COMMUNICATION…Quand on parle avec qqun on regarde dans les yeux…

  63. Nice post. I learn something on totally different blogs everyday. It will all the time be stimulating to read content material from different writers and practice just a little something from their blog.

  65. Shannon — There are days I feel like I'm finally on top of things so I sit down and relax for a while. Then I get depressed. Maybe it's better for me to be busy. Just keep treading.

  68. I and my guys were reading the best tips from your web blog and at once I got an awful suspicion I had not expressed respect to the site owner for them. These young boys were for this reason thrilled to read all of them and have now unquestionably been tapping into these things. Many thanks for genuinely indeed accommodating and for opting for varieties of perfect subject areas most people are really wanting to know about. My very own honest regret for not saying thanks to you earlier.

  70. scrive:Ciao Giordana, mi piacerebbe molto vedere le vostre creazioni e magari citarvi nell’articolo. Perchè non mi mandi maggiori informazioni e qualche foto? La mia email la trovi in coda alla pagina “Chi sono”.Grazie

  72. These are only few of the reasons they designed and built their scooter. A normal EB would consume fuel at an average rate of 100-150 watts of electrical energy compared to gasoline consumption.

  74. Mayra Silva comentou em 10 de novembro de 2011 às 08:29. Júlia, nesse site Pretty Pieces, vende o eláticos com os ganchinhos na ponta? Já procurei e não achei. Como eu chamo eles em inglês? Bjssss

  76. Hello there Nice wewebsite. Would you like to guest post upabout my own someday? If that’s the case make sure you let me know via email or simply answer this particular remark because We subscribed to notifications and will realize should you choose.

  78. Hi there! I realize this is sort of off-topic but I needed to ask. Does running a well-established website like yours require a large amount of work? I am completely new to blogging but I do write in my journal everyday. I’d like to start a blog so I can share my own experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!

  79. Åh va snyggt jag älskar att skriva ut foton på CS, måste beställa nya patroner så jag kan göra det. Den här stilen känns ny, men så DU med alla stämplar och layers *gillar*

  81. Jenny: Thanks for the kind words but this encounter is inevitable. I’ve been training all summer and my coach thinks I’m ready for it. the whole dojo’s going to turn out! I just want to thank my mother for having faith in me and my personal trainer for sticking with me! My message to Mike Barrier: «Carne con Chile, gringo! Bring it on!!!!»On another topic, can you tell me more about the Kovaks parody? I never saw it.Kali: Faust!? I know a great Faust story! I haven’t got time to tell it here but remind me later and I’ll make a blog out of it!

  83. / I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz reply as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. many thanks

  84. La de Cascioli me pegó re mal. Un par de días antes vi una entrevista que le hizo Hogue, un caricaturista de acá, y recordé los buenos tiempos en que leía las revistas a escondidas de mis viejos, a la hora de la siesta.Qué bronca, Dios se está haciendo la tal fiesta y se los lleva de a montones. Desde el negro Fontanarrosa a estas fechas, parece que los elige a propósito.

  85. 4da142ona 26c6b82132Hiya! Fantastic blog! I happen to be a daily visitor to your site (somewhat more like addict ) of this website. Just wanted to say I appreciate your blogs and am looking forward for more!22

  86. nilim_20 diyor ki:yaa arkadaşlar ben yeni üye oldum ama sonra nasıl bi illet olduğunu görünce vazgeçmek istiyorum hesabımı nasıl silicem bana yardımcı olun lütfen

  87. It’s a good shame you don’t contain a give money button! I’d definitely give money for this fantastic webpage! That i suppose for the time being i’ll be satisfied bookmarking together with including an individual’s Feed that will my best Msn balance. That i appearance forward that will recent messages and definitely will share the web site utilizing my best Facebook or twitter team: )

  88. Bravo, très jolies photos qui rappelle qu’en Belgique aussi on se mobilise!J’apprécie l’empreinte artistique marquée du regard militant.Bonne continuation à vous!

  90. Nov21 Wow, amazing blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is fantastic, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about TESHA STUDIO | שלמה ארצי ואברהם טל – אלוהיי .

  94. With the Olympics beginning today, think about how this spirit of individual competitive success driving co-operative team success could play out in your team or organization as a whole. Are you creating a healthy culture of co-operative competition?

  97. carolканал 1+1 ще з того року демонструє деякі іноземні стрічки рос.(сурдопереклад відсутній)а рос.фільми і серіали теж без сурдоперекладу

  98. of course like your website but you have to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth then again I’ll surely come back again.

  99. Obviously Field, you don’t. You just picked up the latest cause of the white people. They aren’t screaming their heads off about Cogo as much as about Darfur. Why? Finding Muslims the scapegoat is quite easy, isn’t it?Everytime there is criticism of Israel, people ask why aren’t you focusing on Darfur? The question is why are you trying to change the subject?Field, why couldn’t you have mentioned Darfur without making it a Muslim/Arab issue? It’s not. It’s a humanitarian disaster and deserves condemnation, but WHY COMPARE it to Israel/Palestine?Fishy.

  100. Bei meiner Nichte ist das nicht mehr der Fall, dass sie Puppen mögen würde. Und sie ist gerade mal acht Jahre jung. Stattdessen spielt sie mit dem nintendoDS. Brettspiele sind auch kein Thema. Aber das kommt hoffentlich bald. Dann werde ich ihr das Spiel Siedler von Catan nahe legen. Klasse Blog!

  102. Not only have you been blessed , but this precious little girl has received the biggest gift of a mom and dad. She is adorable, and I LOOOOOOVE the UT outfit. "Hook "Em"! My son was in the Longhorn band for a 5 years!!

  103. I think this is among the most significant information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on few general things, The site style is great, the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers

  104. la la mais je n’avais pas vu ton lien !Mais alors tu penses que pour contrer le libéralisme il faut le socialisme (le vrai comme tu le précises toi-même) et tu soutiens Ségolène Royal !!!Je ne vais pas me casser le cul à argumenter mais : cherchez l’erreur !!!

  107. Obama has never admitted that he was a Muslim, yet it's obvious that he was raised as one, and that Islamic law would consider him one.So either Obama is lying or is in denial. Actually discussing it would ignite a firestorm in the Muslim world, where he is technically a kufar, but at the same time tries to be their friend.

  109. Sounds like you had a great con! Glad to hear that Will Call was better this year. I was working in Fulfillment behind the scenes there, and we were definitely trying to speed things up. I’m also in Indianapolis. If you ever want to play some games, drop me a line.

  111. Howdy, was over joyed to find this particular webpage. Really just found it by aol but I wasnt looking for nearly anything associated particularly to that really, but I appreciated reading through your things you had to state. Appreciate it!

  112. Salut!Fundamentalismul religios este nociv,dar e discutabil daca valorile crestine sunt atroce precum le-ai numit. Daca ai timp da-mi te rog un exemplu de lege biblica care aplicata corect sa fie ineficienta sau chiar daunatoare. Mersi!

  113. I precisely needed to thank you very much once again. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have implemented without the type of creative ideas shared by you about that situation. It was a challenging setting in my view, but spending time with your well-written tactic you dealt with it took me to weep with delight. Now i’m grateful for the advice as well as trust you comprehend what a powerful job you have been undertaking teaching people today with the aid of your site. I’m certain you have never come across all of us.

  114. Kun Niinistö halusi kävellä vaalituloksen varmistuttua pätkän Musiikkitalolta kokoomuksen tilaisuuteen Finlandiatalolle, niin turvamiehet Supo tms. tuuppasivat kaverin Jennin kanssa autoon “että ja sinähän et jätkä kävele”.Tuntuu että presidentinkansliassa ja sen ympärillä on joku muuri minne Sauli on viety, mutta ehkä se sieltä linnasta joskus vapautuu netinkin puolelle. Saattaa olla että joku ylireagoi tällä hetkellä. Joku tai jotkut mistä emme tiedä.

  115. dit :Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  116. Yupp, she’s definately going clockwise. Though, my hubby, who’s left-brained, saw it going clockwise too. Rebecca- Hi fellow southpaw! Does anyone know where that saying even came from, ‘southpaw’? Happy Monday :o)~-Avery

  117. I am currently trying to figure out the whole training process, and I have got to say that I am overwhelmed by the amount of paper your archive covers. I have a lot of the rental agreement type stuff, and eviction process. But wow, and thanks.

  118. Ja, das ist echt gruselig, was man da zu lesen bekommt.Warum beschleicht mich das unangenehme Gefühl, dass da ein Exempel statuiert werden soll (A: wer da hin geht ist per se schuldig; B: denkt immer daran, wer hier am längeren hebel sitzt)?Brrr, ein schnöder kalter winterwind durchfröstelt mich …P.S: Euer “Trolle reden nicht, sie grunzen”, ist mit Abstand das beste was mir seit langem untergekommen ist. *ROTFL*

  119. Hi, on purpose. certainly made me think differently I’m interested in the topic myself and I have never read such a great piece of work on a site like this. cool to read a new text I hope it will be posted in no time! writing new texts! really worth contributing Cheers!

Обсуждение закрыто.